Method for catching up...2014

I decided I can’t really recap the last 6 years very well. So I’m going to go year by year and add some photos to try to just get the highlights. Each post will be a year in my life so to speak starting with 2014. There is a lot I won’t get to because I wont have pictures or notes to draw from but I will do the best I can and that’s better than not doing it at all!

2014 started off with a bang. My mom broke her hip Christmas Eve (2013) at Jeri’s house. She was in her room at the time and turned around to get something, fell and couldn’t get up. Jeff called an ambulance. Mom was in surgery that same night. Unfortunately, she woke up confused and never really was the same mentally. But we didn’t know that was going to happen.
She had been declining for years but had always been able to feed herself, walk, get dressed, etc. I flew down to help Jeri with the aftermath and to find her a rehab facility where she would get the help she needed to start walking as soon as possible. She grew stronger in body but not in mind. She couldn’t learn to use the walker. This was a huge shock! I just thought it would take a little time but it never got better. Soon we came to the realization that we would need to find a care center for her.
Jeri and I looked for several days and finally found a place we both felt comfortable with. I went back to Boise and Jeri moved her into the group home. She soon realized that mom wouldn’t stay in her   wheelchair and was falling, It was awful. The care facility very quickly became short with us and was not very kind to mom.
Besides that, mom wasn’t being looked after closely enough. Jeri was looking for a new place for her but got really sick herself and trying to work full time besides. It was a very stressful situation. Jeri would have done anything for mom but couldn’t have her at home.
I decided to try to take care of mom myself  and if I couldn’t end up doing it, I would find a place for her near me. It was a horrible flight and I still can’t really believe I did it. When I got her off the plane, she was limp as a noodle and practically falling out of her wheelchair. The looks I got as I took her through the lobby were the least of my worries.
My intention was to try to straighten out her meds and get her as optimized as I could. I kept her at home and hired home aid to come help me. Mom had periods of cooperation, humor, and even was able to communicate and feed herself at times but I had to return to work (took a month off to do this) and was relying on home helpers to pick up the slack. Eventually I realized I couldn’t do it even with help. Mom wasn’t really improving and I knew it was beyond me. I began the arduous process of trying to find a place that would take a memory care Medicaid patient in a wheelchair...very difficult! Eventually I found a group home that would allow a seat belt on the wheelchair (against the rules). They worked with me on many things that others turned me down on. I will always be grateful to them! They were so accommodating and I never had a concern that they weren’t treating Mom well.

This is mom in her wheelchair in her new room.

She was very upset at first but I went there everyday for a little while gradually decreasing that to once a week. I couldn’t handle anymore than that which I carry a lot of guilt over.
There was a park near the house that I would take her to. Jeri and Annette came to visit often and that helped a lot!
Bob  also drove over from Malad to see Mom and Richard called sometimes to talk to her. Mike called her as well.

 Mom had some good days and some bad. Eventually she was bed bound and really couldn’t move around much. She declined rapidly after that.
 So this whole situation took much of my time in 2014. I basically worked, went to see mom, and fit the other parts of my life around that. We did get to the cabin of course and did some trips. More on 2014 in another post. I never really put all this down before because I thought it was remembering mom in the worst way but it was part of my life and hers. I have been trying to remember her the way she was as a whole person so I didn’t want to dwell on this but everyone will face something similar if they live long enough I guess.

 Mom passed away in September of 2015 and would have lived much longer without the Parkinson’s and Lewy body dementia that robbed her of her twilight  years. We had some good moments though while she was declining and even some good laughs while she was in the group home. I don’t have a picture but I remember Annette, Natalie, Britney, and Heather came on her birthday. We all sat around the group home table  and sang to mom. She loved it.

Life is fleeting and one never knows what they will face later on. So I try to remember to cherish my family and friends, be glad for my time and my health. Be glad for the health of my loved ones. Mom would have wanted it that way.